Theologically Sound. Culturally Relevant.

Pearl Davis

Red Pill vs. Christ Pill: Evaluating the Harm of Rollo Tomassi, Pearly Things

In recent years, the “Red-Pill” movement has arisen with its influencers growing massive followers through reactionary content that identifies the pitfalls of Feminism and modernity to a lost generation. The term plays off the Matrix red-pill vs. blue-pill dynamic of one awakening to the realization of modern modernity, particularly within the relationship context.

It is easy to examine the pitfalls of Feminism, which was always detrimental to society. Within America, the sexual revolution and no-fault divorce have led to the breakdown of the nuclear family, amounting to 40% of births being outside of wedlock and only 63% of children living with both of their biological parents. Because Feminism ushered the homosexual agenda, this furthered the sexual confusion that plagues Gen Z, of which about 20% identify as not straight. The poisonous fruit is self-evident.

The challenge to redressing Feminism has created numerous avenues of thought. The so-called Manosphere markets predominantly to young men through numerous personalities, including Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan, and Andrew Tate. It is of the latter-most personality which has embodied what is labeled the “Red-Pilled” movement. While Tate is atop this movement, there are other personalities which have garnered massive followings: Pearl Davis (JustPearlyThings) has 1.56 million subs on YouTube; Rollo Tomassi (The Rational Male) has 214K subs on YouTube; Fresh and Fit, which has 1.45 million subs on YouTube; and the deceased image consultant Kevin Samuels had 1.75 million subs on YouTube. There are other adjacent labels this movement might encompass, like Incels (involuntary celibates), MGTOW (men going their own way), and Passport Bros, men who travel abroad to date foreign women. The one commonality that gave rise to these influencers (and countless others) and the related movements is the abysmal state of modern women and the increased frustration of modern men.

As society continues to destabilize, both socially and economically, this problem is going to persist. Unfortunately, none of the above-mentioned names are genuine Christian, and while they might espouse beliefs that partially align with Christian teaching, they ultimately fall short in their lifestyles, failing to provide a healthy model for both relationships and gender roles.

The Growing Problem

This is an era where the average age of a first marriage for a man is 30.4 and 28.6 years for women, both of which are all time highs for Americans and trending upwards. Yet this problem is not merely the age of marriage, but the formation of relationships that eventually lead to marriage. 63% of men 18-30 are single compared to 34% of women, a difference of 29%. In 2019, this same survey had 51% of men 18-30 as single, representing a 12% increase. Though it is natural for men in their 30’s and thus outside that cohort to seek women younger and thus within the cohort, does that really account for a 29% difference? Even if it did, the 30–40-year-old men pursuing women under 30 reflects this negative societal trend of later marriages. The advent of Dating Apps, rather than reverse trends in marital decline, has created Hookup Culture and prolonged adolescence instead of marriages.

The failure to form families directly correlates with population collapse. Globally, Mankind is struggling to repopulate above replacement, with the global fertility being 2.3 as of 2021, according to the World Bank. In America, fertility stands at 1.664, meaning that America is below population replacement, but this trend is especially profound in East Asian nations that have the lowest birthrates in the world. Younger marriages would be a primary step in improving the fertility rate. Otherwise, Western nations will be strained from aging populations and reliant upon third world immigration for replacement, ultimately to the destruction of the individual nations.

This is an existential problem facing the world as the nations in their decadence do not even have the desire to reproduce. Without proper remedy, the world will offer its solutions particularly in the West to combat the loneliness while individuals capitalize off the strife between men and women. Simp culture has turned countless men into hapless excuses of male genitalia vicariously paying internet prostitutes, thus validating women in their sin and enticing others to follow suit. Artificial Intelligence is being used to create “AI Girlfriends” to market to lonely men that cannot get a woman to speak with them, engendering Bill Burr’s “sex robot” joke in his standup Paper Tiger.

The Red Pill community might effectively identify these problems, but its solutions and ideologies prove dangerous and contrary to Scripture’s teachings, beginning with its views on marriage.

Black Pilled on Marriage

As the institution of marriage has been eroded since the 1960’s, there is a growing disillusionment to the prospects of marriage, particularly amongst men who believe it to be a raw deal in which the legal deck is stacked against them. Marriage is likened to jumping out of a functional airplane with a parachute with a 50% success rate. The Red-Pill community is familiar with the statistics in which 70% of divorces are initiated by women, 90% if the woman is college educated, and that the woman becomes the custodial parent 90% of the time, albeit mostly through settlement, which is unmentioned by the Red-Pilled. The downside risks of no-fault divorce, and with it, legal expenses, alimony, child support, loss of custody, or marital infidelity have diminished the outlook of marriage amongst men.

The Christian and the Red-Pilled would agree that the system is disproportionately stacked against men and that feminism has eroded the institution of marriage. They agree that the state of modern women leaves much to be desired. Christians should be advocating against No-Fault Divorce and enacting other societal disincentives to divorce. It is not the problem that is disputed, but the solution.

What the Red-Pilled often ignores are the factors which significantly decrease chances of divorce that also significantly increase marital satisfaction.

 

Divorce By Sexual Partners

Christianity teaches that marriage is between man and woman and that sex outside of these confines is sinful, including that of fornication. A study by the Institute for Family Studies found that premarital sex is a significant predictor of whether a marriage will end in divorce. The probability of divorce is 5% within the first five years for those with no premarital sexual partners, significantly lower than every other statistical grouping. A study by the Wheatley Institute (BYU) released in 2023 found favorable correlations between relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, and emotional connection with marital couples with only one sexual partner (their spouse) than couples who had multiple sexual partners. Contrary to the world’s perception, Sexual Inexperience leads to better marital outcomes. It is almost as if the Biblical model for marriage works!

In 2022, Rollo Tomassi was on Valuetainment Money in which he debated Ruslan on the merits of marriage. Rollo claims to be a Christian and has been married for over 26 years. Ruslan, who deserves credit for his performance on this podcast, called out Rollo for failing to preach what he practices when it comes to marriage. Rollo would contend that the environment is different nowadays, so therefore he aspires to give men the tools to navigate the landscape without being “prescriptive.” Rollo’s supporters would suggest their debate was between Rollo’s realism versus Ruslan’s idealism, which is fair in that Christian teaching on marriage is in the realm of ideal, but even where one has fallen short, they should still strive to live up to the standard rather than discard the standard because of the environment.

In truth, many detractors of Rulsan’s apologetic for abstinence preceding marriage simply do not want to change their habit of premarital sex or otherwise curb their sinful sexual desires. It is not supposed to be easy, especially in modern society, but it does yield the best statistical outcomes. Rollo and Ruslan speak about the “Lost Boys Generation” but ultimately, family gives purpose to the lives of men as both fathers and husbands.

Regardless of how black-pilled men have become towards marriage, there is still an innate desire for relationships that is going unmet which fuels the demand for Manosphere content in the Red-Pilled space, like Rollo. Ironically, women like Pearl advocate being a “Trad-wife” but she herself is unmarried and more abrasive than a traditional woman ought to be.

Body Count, Promiscuity, and Gender

The state of modern women is daunting, even for the young Christian man who is ideally abstaining from premarital sex and pornography. Statistically, unmarried women skew heavily liberal and our society both promotes hookup culture and demeans chastity. The Red-Pilled are often turned off from the prospects of marriage when women are more promiscuous than prior generations. They will claim 80% of women are chasing after a 20% of men, which is statistically supported through an OkCupid study. However, it must be noted that men still retain higher averages for sexual partners.

CDC Sexual Partner Data

Contrary to the Red-Pilled’s messaging that most women nowadays have massive, double digit body counts, the National Survey of Family Growth still found that men had higher body counts than women by a significant margin. Even the median number of partners is 4.3 for women and 6.3 for men. 

However, marital satisfaction decreases after 4 partners for both men and women.

Relationship Satisfaction

The Wheatley Institute also found that only 12% of marriages featured husbands with 15 or more sexual partners, indicating that the players encompassing the 28.3% of men are disproportionately (and unsurprisingly) unmarried. Historically, these are drastic changes in our society caused by the Sexual Revolution. Of those born in the 1910’s, the Wheatley Institute claimed that 70% of women and 50% of men reported only having one sexual partner, representing a drastic shift in the last century. Whereas anything higher than 0 was considered high not even a century ago, the current standard is that a female body count of 4 or less is considered low.

Sexual Partners by Age

One of the surprising and underreported trends is female promiscuity relative to male promiscuity for women under 30. The notion that women are “living it up” in their 20’s is statistically supported, and it is a shame that the Wheatley Institute did not discuss this finding of married women in their report. Over time, it does appear that married men overtake women on body count, but the damage caused to society by the average being higher for married women under 30 compared to their male counterparts cannot go unstated as every statistic surrounding delayed marriages and divorce is resultant from this dangerous mindset. This average is already primed for negative statistical outcomes within marriage.

An interesting study from Date Psychology found that only 12% of women prefer a man with no sexual experience versus 27% of men, who disproportionately lean younger and conservative. Studies like this exemplify the ideological divide between men and women, where women at large do not prefer chastity in men versus men who more desire it in women. There is a hypocrisy where women complain about the “double standard” yet desire men who have slept around. Meanwhile, the men who do not sleep around are disproportionately interested in virgins, so the 15% difference is not some Sigma Male, Andrew Tate archetype, but likelier a Gen Z conservative. Undoubtedly, the disparity impacts the inability of young men to find virtuous women.

Evolution and Hypergamy

One of the key distinctions between the Christ-pilled and the Red-Pilled is the latter’s evolutionary framework which inherently leads to a hedonistic attitude wherein the goal is to navigate the environment to maximize sexual pleasure. As an aside, the Red-Pill’s framework is not to be conflated with evolutionary psychology as it is more epistemological than empirical. Through an evolutionary framework, this allows the Red Pilled community to ultimately rationalize their low view of women, marriage, and family. Behaviors are treated through the lens of pseudo-evolutionary mating rituals rather than the Imago Dei or the fall of man. Marriage is treated as a declining social utility rather than a divine institution. Man’s sexual desires are to be satisfied rather than controlled or sedated through vice.

Under these assumptions, women operate to maximize hypergamy. Hypergamy is defined as pairing with someone at or above one’s social standing. To an extent, this has always been true. Women seek men who possess money, assets, athletic build, or other qualities that are indicative of one’s ability to protect and provide. It is not unreasonable, and perhaps innate to female nature, that they desire these qualities, as was discussed with Bible Bashed. They are not attracted to homeless men on the streets, but wealthy or athletic men. The problem is not that women seek hypergamy, but that the restraints against moral excess have been removed. Women can access birth control and abortion which provide moral hazard to their fornication whereas before they had to regulate their behaviors. Fatherless homes exasperate the promiscuity of women who fornicate due to an absence of a strong male presence in their life. Feminism devalues childrearing in favor of pursuing careers and sexual gratification. Social media provides instant gratification through validation, inflating one’s sense of pride towards their “market value” relative to the available men. For women, the hyper-competitive landscape of Dating Apps creates a Paradox of Choice, whereby an “abundance of options can counterintuitively lead to less happiness, less satisfaction, and hamper the ability to make a decision.” These are cultural and spiritual problems that get reduced to evolutionary pseudo-science.

Regarding hypergamy, the Red-Pill community asserts that women are generally looking to upgrade men or transfer from “Alpha’s” to settle with “Beta’s.” While there might be anecdotes, the general trend is that men are more prone to infidelity than women. The only age demographic where women are more prone to cheat is married women under 30, which is a whopping difference of 1%, so this theory lacks statistical support. Married men over 50 are far likelier to cheat than women at rates above 20% while women remain in the teens.

Yet there is almost an assumption that “Alpha Males” or High Value Man (HVM) are expected to cheat, or perhaps are entitled to. Kevin Samuels called this a privilege to cheat, not because they should, but because the HVM has that option. Even Pearl can be seen stating that “High Value Men bring High Value Problems,” which is a warning to any woman who would marry an HVM. It is unlikely she would hold this standard that infidelity should be expected when married to a so-called high value woman. Logically, wealthy, powerful men have no shortage of women who might throw themselves at them. The temptation for sexual sin, namely that of adultery and fornication, are stronger for these so-called HVM’s.

Many of the underlying assumptions within the Red-Pilled community ultimately treat Mankind as a glorified animal, yet ironically, they employ either inconsistent standards or outright untrue assumptions towards the behaviors of men and women.

The Iron Rules of Tomassi

Rather than seek the change the landscape or elevate men, Rollo Tomassi instead offers his descriptive suggestions which are called his 9 Iron Rules. He would contend he is not prescriptive, but only descriptive, so people are allowed to disagree. Regardless, the rules as presented promote promiscuity amongst men to combat the landscape to maximize sexual gratification. They are not fixated towards family formation or helping a man find a wife—which would actually be following the footsteps of Rollo—but instead helping men pick up loose women under the assumption that everyone is promiscuous.

His first rule is basic:

Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of whose frame in which you are operating. Always control the Frame, but resist giving the impression that you are.

Whether in politics or relationships, proper framing is key to communication and controlling the conversation. How one frames themselves to a woman matters in a courtship process. While there is a combative notion of framing, in which it is a tool to help men assert control in the relationship, at its best, this took is about a man’s presentation, confidence, and assertiveness.

Rule 3 is the most questionable:

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

Rollo would appeal to a principle of desirability, that this rule is a measure of a woman’s desire, but this rule objectively promotes promiscuity and hook-up culture. Red-Pill types might assert that a woman would have a different set of rules for an Alpha versus a Beta, but any woman that gives it away so easily is not a virtuous woman, regardless of the man. Even if this is about desirability, the sexual emphasis of the statement cannot be ignored.

The mindset behind these rules is not designed for marriages but navigating hookup culture. Therein lies the contradiction in the Manosphere. Because there is a view of women as object for sexual gratification combined with a low view of marriage, its promotion of fornication is inevitable, which then creates a feedback loop of adding to the body counts of women, furthering the sexual immorality. Even Andrew Tate, who has a somewhat positive message about masculinity, is contradicted by his lifestyle of promiscuity and his former webcam business that profited off of the weak, simp culture he critiques. No amount of charm or well articulated talking points erases the fact that he is the world’s most infamous pimp.

Conclusion

The growing societal decay is met with pervasive sexual sin. While the state of modern women is abysmal, the “Red-Pilled” Manosphere ultimately falls short in offering a solution that yields tangible benefits for both men and women, the former of which they purportedly seek to help. Because this segment of men is an enlarging share of our population, there is no shortage of grifters that will entertain the disaffected masses, like the unmarried Pearly Things or the monogamously married Rollo Tomassi.

The Church must be the beacon of light amidst this nihilistic darkness. The Church should be a place where relationships both are formed and thrive. There is great emphasis for married couples that is often absent towards those who are single. Whereas there is a mantra that “singleness is a gift” which is likened to the Apostle Paul, who was unmarried (which does not mean he was never married), this is more likely to be an exception rather than normative. Churches should fixate towards promoting and fostering relationships which lead to marriages. Meanwhile, marriage and family should be promoted to young women within the Church, that they should not be like the worldly women, just as men should not be as the worldly men.

But if the Church does not answer this challenge, more young men will be turned over to the Red-Pilled, Manosphere types who claim to offer a solution to their legitimate struggles. These struggles, left unmitigated, give way to pornography, despair, and further societal strife.

Barring correction, the masculinity crisis in the West will exacerbate the troubling circumstances, ultimately to the deserved condemnation of entire societies. In the end, if America is to be revived, then it will be because Churches developed masculine men who forged strong families which raised their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord, not because the perfect political candidate was elected.

Powered by RedCircle

Support the Evangelical Dark Web

It's not about the money. It's about supporting the mission in contending for the faith against false doctrines. Consider becoming a member of the Evangelical Dark Web. If you aren't willing, comfortable, or able to, that's cool. And if you still like our content, at least subscribe to the newsletter below.
Receive the Evangelical Dark Web Newsletter

Facebook
Twitter
Telegram
Reddit
LinkedIn

3 Responses

  1. Ray, you betray your social conditioning by calling it “No Fault Divorce” which it is not. It is unilateral divorce, overwhelmingly initiated by women in this collapsing western culture.

    As to why most Men don’t contest their loss of custody… there are several reasons inherent in the unstated premises of the family law system. For a better understanding go to:

    https://www.flowcode.com/page/howigotcustody

    James Christianson explains why this happens and how, if you’re man enough, to fight it. He’s a Christian and got full custody with child support of his then 7 month old daughter in spite of the “tender years doctrine” implicit in these courts.

  2. Sadly, much of the church has been given over to feminism for decades, so it is not being the beacon of light that it ought to be. Too many church leaders have caved on the issue of male headship.

    Who could blame a man for having little interest in pursuing a wife within the evangelical landscape when many of its women think that a godly man is a pacified servant leader? As Bnonn Tennant writes, “…when a man wielding power is treated as automatically despotic—as he is under feminism—he can no longer direct those under him to put on Christ.”
    https://itsgoodtobeaman.com/servant-leadership-transforms-leadership-into-subservience/

    Couple this with the fact that the #MeToo movement has made inroads into the church (see the SBC for example), and you have a recipe for disaster. The sins of women often go unchecked, for women are the sacred cows. Contrast Mother’s Day and Father’s Day sermons. It’s a safe bet that church leadership will unquestionably take the side of the wife in a marital conflict—thorough investigation and rights of the accused be damned. She can behave like the rest of the world with little to no consequence.

    To a man having witnessed these kinds of developments, the black pill appears all-the-more reasonable.

Leave a Reply

Get Evangelical Dark Web Newsletter

Bypass Big Tech censorship, and get Christian news in your inbox directly.

Join 5,117 other subscribers

Trending Posts