Last month we sparked a conversation about Christians attending gay weddings which should be a no-brainer for Christians opposing these events. Yet many have encouraged compromise on this topic including Crosswalk, a Christian media outlet owned by Salem Media. But they not only encourage Christians to attend gay weddings, they even encourage Christians to attend baby showers for homosexual couples.
The first article is written by James Emery White, a different James White than you are likely used to, called Should You Attend a Gay Wedding? He begins by recapping Begg’s sinful counsel.
Despite the fallout, Begg stands by the advice he gave.
He should.
This is not about a theological “drift.” Neither I nor Begg affirm a homosexual lifestyle. But does that mean it is never appropriate for a Christ follower to attend a gay wedding?
Let’s break that down a little—first by addressing whether it is okay to participate in one, and then second, whether it is okay to attend one. I would argue that participation and attendance are distinct from one another.
He argues that participating in the event is sinful but attendance is not.
Participating in a gay wedding means lending support, helping to facilitate it, enabling it to happen. It’s being involved in such a way as to bring it about. Biblically, that isn’t something a Christian can do.
This is why I am in support of the bakers and florists, bed and breakfast operators and caterers, who are being sued for not wanting to engage in activity they deem supportive of a gay wedding.
The problem is these services exist for the people in attendance. The more people in attendance, the more services, and the reverse is true as well. Thus this distinction is with little difference as the supply of wedding guests fuels the demand for wedding enablers. But if all participants protested the event, with a Christian conscience, then the event would merely be a courthouse elopement with AIDS.
I have been through this. Not for a gay wedding, but for weddings involving people I knew and loved, but couldn’t affirm the marriage itself. I have been asked to perform such weddings, and biblically, could not. But I have told them that I would be there in attendance if they would like me to be in support of them as people I love and care about, and that God loves and cares about. I could not be there in support of the event, but I could be there in support of them.
I believe this is an important distinction.
There are times to express love for someone while disagreeing with them. To make your commitment to them clear, no matter what choices they might be making in life. To let them know that your love for them is not something doled out on the basis of good behavior. That your love for them is simply your love for them.
So while you might not be able to participate, or celebrate,
…give the gift of your presence to affirm your love for them.
At the end of the day, White is arguing that the relationship is more important than God and this is thematic as we move on to part two where Crosswalk advocates attending gay baby showers.
Amanda Idleman wrote Can Christians Attend a Same-Sex Couple’s Baby Shower? and gives similar advice.
It’s our job to be Jesus to our lost friends. To encourage those who know God but continue to struggle with sin. We need to remain faithful to the standards God gives us for living in the Bible. We must also ask God to help show us how to love well. When sin exists, wisdom is necessary in each and every situation. We need God to show us how to walk alongside others that we love prayerfully, sharing truth with them in a loving way. Thankfully, James 1:5 tells us that anytime we need wisdom, God gives it.
There are a few things we can consider as we seek wisdom on how to approach this kind of situation:
-If the couple are unbelievers, they are not held to the same standard of the Bible, so extra grace should be dispensed.
-Will declining to attend harm the relationship with this family?
-Will this declining detract from your ability to show them God’s love?
-Is there another way to show the child-to-be love without participating in the baby shower?
-What is God saying to you about this situation and how to navigate it well?
Idleman, therefore, sees the value in attending the party hosted by two sodomites engaged in human trafficking to rip a baby away from its unloving mother into a house of perversion. And she sees the value in celebrating an intentionally single mother trying to fulfill natural desires in direct rebellion to the Created Order.
A baby shower is different from a wedding in that every child is a gift from God. This sort of celebration is designed to joyfully support the arrival of a new person whom God has a special plan for. While we may understand that same-sex relationships are not God’s best, we are called to nurture and love every child. Even if we do not feel called to participate in the baby shower, we should find a way to love this family and their child.
The cost of loving and nurturing this hypothetical child is far more than Idleman has or is willing to calculate. How many moral compromises are necessary in order to have a small chance of influencing this child? How much evil can a Christian condone or participate in so that good may arise? The Bible is clear on that. None.
2 Responses
In our faulty human-sourced perversion of true compassion, we are often affirming a loved one or friend as they choose the path toward the Wide Gate…we are either afraid or ashamed to confront them with the truth of what they are doing.
No wonder the church is in so much trouble today. We create false dichotomies and use love as a cover for compromise. And we won’t call sin for what it is.