In the world of conservative influencers, few things are as cringeworthy as watching a high-profile girlboss like Lila Rose (founder and president, Live Action) repeatedly drag her husband through the mud on her YouTube show. Twice this year, Lila has brought on a panel of four or five to discuss dating strategies for Christians and Catholics in 2025, and both times she chose to hang her husband (Joe) out to dry. In both instances, clips from her show went incredibly viral. Lila has her defenders, but mostly Christians (especially Christian men) are tired of the longhousing of the dating scene.
No Butterflies, Just Settling
The first clip, from the 6/20/2025 episode of the Lila Rose Show, kicks off with her answering whether there was instant chemistry when she met Joe. Spoiler alert: there wasn’t. She admits he was “objectively handsome” and “cute,” but no butterflies, no stars, no lightning flashes. Instead, it was a slow burn, like a Jim and Pam from “The Office” situation, but without the charm. Rose explains that for her, the initial spark wasn’t there because she’d already dated a lot of other guys. At 28 when they met, she had “more sense of what mattered or didn’t,” thanks to her extensive experience with “a lot of different kinds of guys.” If she’d met him at 23, she might have been pickier, dismissing him for not being some free-spirited entrepreneur crusading around the world: the quintessential travel buddy.
Sensing danger, Lila Rose then bends over backward to clarify she’s not saying she doesn’t love him; she wants to make it clear that she loves everything about him. But in this context, it’s like she’s trying to convince herself just as much as the panel. Joe comes off as the safe, mature choice after she played the field, the consolation prize after a string of exciting flings that fizzled out. And to top it off, she notes he didn’t date much himself, implying he was less experienced while she was out there gathering “data.” This sort of information is worse than just oversharing; it’s straight-up emasculation, painting Joe as the guy who didn’t light her up but was good enough to settle for once her biological clock started screaming at her.
Double Standards in Dating: Playing the Field While the Man Waits
Fast forward to December, and Lila Rose is at it again, this time on a panel about dating dynamics. In an additional viral clip, she dives right back into her story with Joe. Apparently, after he asked her out, he scheduled their first date 5-6 weeks later: a formal dinner followed by a trip to the opera. Rose was simultaneously impressed with his seriousness and put off by the delay, so much so that she continued to see other men in the interim. In short, while Joe was planning this elaborate night and not dating anyone else, Lila was out there keeping her options open just in case a better option became available.
The matchmaker nods along approvingly at this double standard, further normalizing the duplicity. Rose adds that she has a bizarre standard for exclusivity: it only kicks in when there’s kissing. Conceivably, she could have kept dating other men even after the opera, as long as the date wasn’t sealed with a kiss. This is her personal standard for exclusivity, which allows her to control the relationship while her suitor believes he is in a bona fide coupling. This is confirmed when she admits he didn’t know she was playing the field; she kept that secret. This poor sap (simp?) was exclusive from the jump, pouring time, energy, and hundreds of dollars into wooing her while she shopped around.
Rose tries to spin it positively, insisting she was “ultimately the most interested” in him. But you don’t play the field if you’re head over heels for someone. This all serves to reinforce the humiliation: Joe looks like the chump who committed fully while she hedged her bets. It’s the type of love story that only serves to strengthen the resolve of the RedPill influencers.
Conclusion
It’s frustrating to see the state of the modern dating scene, even in a Christian context. Women like Lila demand exclusivity and commitment from men while keeping their own options open. I simply don’t believe Lila that she was ultimately the most interested in Joe over these other men. That might be true in retrospect, but actions speak louder than podcast confessions. Young ladies should not follow her example, and young men should avoid women with similar mentalities.
