Ligonier Ministries is one of the legacies of RC Sproul. They operate RefNet, a digital radio program, and have a reputation that is largely untarnished by the liberalism of The Gospel Coalition. If anything, they are not known for controversy but are renowned as a resource hub and a vault of expository sermons. However, it should be noted that several of their names have been tied to major scandals, including Steve Lawson and Steve Nichols.
One of the most prevailing cultural problems is that of marriage and fertility. Globally, there are nations that are disinclined to reproduce at fatal levels. This has coincided with the denigration of marriage as an institution by the prevalence of divorce and the rising blight of homosexuality. Part of this is due to economic factors, like youth unemployment and housing affordability, but the problem is more rooted in cultural decay. Women disproportionately do not want marriage and children. DEI and mass immigration promote all other groups except white men, which also coincides with the competency crisis. However, the prevalence of Donald Trump has correlated with a small birth rate recovery amongst whites, which stands to save America from being a majority minority nation. Despite all the headwinds, conservatives are the ones having children. Nevertheless, the marriage rates are in decline, and the average age of first marriage is at an all-time high.
Rather than promote marriage, the institutional response of the modern church has been to promote the “gift of singleness” and to call marriage an idol. This was recently tweeted about by Owen Strachan and has long been a talking point at The Gospel Coalition, but now it is promoted by Ligonier Ministries.
Recently, they hosted William and Rebecca VanDoodewaard to discuss the latter’s latest book on the subject of family and marriage. William VanDoodewaard is academic dean and professor at Greenville Presbyterian Theological Seminary in South Carolina. As this clip went viral, it should be noted that many associated with Greenville came out in defense of the clip.
Well, I know a lot of Christian women in this position, a lot of young women in their 20’s who would love to be married and who aren’t. And there can be a tendency to just sort of hang around and wait for God to bring a man into their lives. And I think that’s unhealthy…but it’s unhealthy for the church community and their families as well. And possibly revealing that marriage is actually an idol.
At first, she gives the impression that she is going to provide advice to women to help them get married, as all too often, there is a “sit around and wait for God” mentality that is unhealthy and passive. Instead, she accuses Christians of making marriage an idol.
Calling everything an idol obfuscates actual idolatry. Marriage was created by God for our good. As the Westminster Confession states, “Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife; for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue, and of the Church with a holy seed; and for preventing of uncleanness.” Those who are married have been given a vocation by God. Those who desire marriage want what something that God designed for their good.
Ontologically, a woman’s importance in society is tied to childrearing, which is also the most important job for without procreation, the nation dies. Marriage is not only a religious vocation tied to the Fifth Commandment but also a civic duty to one’s nation.
And there are other young women who I see just doing amazing things with this time that the Lord has given them. Elizabeth Elliot spoke a lot about singleness as a gift, just like marriage is a gift. And so when you see singleness as a gift, you are going to take hold of it and use it the best ways you can to God’s glory. So I know young women out there who are getting graduate degrees, who are excelling in their careers and serving in their churches and being a real blessing to their extended families and just trying to make use of this season in a really good way and not put fruitfulness off until marriage as though that’s the only vehicle for it. for a young woman because it is not. We know that. We know that from scripture. And so use this season. That’s what I’d say. Don’t make an idol of marriage and run with everything the Lord has given you right now because He has given you a lot.
Instead of providing advice on getting married, her advice is to promote advanced degrees and careerism, behavior that encourages student loans and reduces the chances of finding a husband. She is tacitly encouraging the “girl-boss” motif, which delays marriage and ultimately peddles the same “you can have it all” lie that the culture sells to women. Take away the Christian jargon, and it is the same advice that Megyn Kelly gives single women. A man pursues marriage for the purpose of establishing a family, so a career-minded woman is an impediment to that goal. Moreover, studies have found that wage increases in women decrease fertility while higher male wages support fertility.
The interview immediately follows with William VanDoodewaard giving his advice to men, but rather than tell men to grind away and build up their careers through advanced degrees, he basically just recites a bunch of clichés.
I’d echo a lot of that just for young men who are single who long to be married, want to find a godly wife, but aren’t yet. Use the time well. Seek to walk close to the Lord, to grow in grace and in godliness, to be fruitful in the life of your church, ministering to other people, helping other people. And then, yes, of course, as a young man seeking out a godly relationship, trying, asking a girl that you’re interested in, but maybe it doesn’t work out. And then you need to pray and wait and look again, trusting in the Lord, but pursuing that with faithfulness.
With advice like this, one cannot blame men for turning to the “Red-Pill” analysis because they will at least advise men to pursue fitness and higher status, whether socially or through a career. Even his advice to ask out women is incredibly generic and ignorant of the modern dating environment. Devoting oneself to the church sounds like a great idea, but many ministries in churches center around children. Though this is a good thing (contrary to the “singleness” advocates), these are not typically the types of ministries single men in their 20’s serve within. Even their ability to “advance” within the local church is predicated upon marriage. While marriage is not required for ordination, many churches would view singleness as a downside within a candidate.
The only specifics that VanDoodewaard gives is to stop looking at porn, which treats pornography as a uniquely male sin. Covenant Eyes reports that 78% of men report porn use verses 44% of women. While other studies might vary in the percentages, the gap of 30% persists across the board. PornHub’s own data reports that their traffic is around 65% male versus 35% female, with women previously around 24% in 2015. Men might be more habitual, but women have really pumped up their numbers. All this is without getting into the rise of OnlyFans, Hookup Culture, and the prevalence of female smut novels. The reduction of pornography to only a male sin is part of a trend of “Gooner Bulverism,” which tacitly brands all men as porn-addicts thereby justifying women refusing to seek marriage.
Sproul: God’s Will for Marriage
Ligonier positions itself as the legacy of Sproul and a defender of the Reformed Tradition, but this content is anything but consistent with either. In 2009, Sproul addressed singleness in women with the following:
Marriage is no different; no magic recipe has come from heaven that will determine for us the perfect will of God for a life partner. Here, unfortunately, is where Christians have succumbed to the fairy-tale syndrome of our society. It is a particular problem for young single women who feel that if God wants them to be married, He will drop a marriage partner out of heaven on a parachute or will bring some Prince Charming riding up to their doorstep on a great white horse.
Sproul begins with a critique of passivity towards those who desire marriage. It should be noted that both men and women have a fairytale mentality. Women expect the Disney-Princess depiction of Prince Charming, which is often fueled by “girl dads” treating their daughters as princesses, but men will fall into the fairy tale trap by pedestalizing women. This leads to men overlooking glaring flaws.
One excruciating problem faced by single women is caused by the unwritten rule of our society that allows men the freedom actively to pursue a marriage partner while women are considered loose if they actively pursue a prospective husband.
No biblical rule says that a woman eager to be married should be passive. There is nothing that prohibits her from actively seeking a suitable mate. On numerous occasions, I’ve had the task of counseling single women who insist at the beginning of the interview that they have no desire to be married, but simply want to work out the dimensions of the celibacy they believe God has imposed upon them.
After a few questions and answers, the scenario usually repeats itself: the young woman begins to weep and blurts out, “But I really want to get married.” When I suggest that there are wise steps that she can take to find a husband, her eyes light up in astonishment as if I had just given her permission to do the forbidden. I have broken a taboo.
What women say they want versus what they actually want are often two different things. Sproul recounts his ability to break through stated versus revealed preferences within these women with a few questions. Sproul did not say to pursue careers or debt-financed advanced degrees. He counseled them to actively pursue marriage just as one might actively pursue a vocation. Rather than aligning with the culture, Sproul was countercultural in his advice. He did not say that women should embrace the “season of singleness” but to be active in pursuing marriage.
The modern dating dynamic has stigmatized asking women out and eroded the social institutions where singles had once met. A man risks his career if he pursues romance with a coworker. Even bars are not what they once were, as is reflected in the decline of drinking seen in Zoomers. This then outsources the demand to the dating apps, which, while there are valid complaints, have become the primary avenue for meeting people. Given this environment, Sproul’s advice is more prescient now than ever before.
Saved through Childbearing
St Paul writes in 1 Timothy 2:15 that “she shall be saved in childbearing,” which does not denigrate childrearing but elevates it as obedience to God. When commenting on this verse, Calvin wrote:
[W]hen a woman, considering to what she has been called, submits to the condition which God has assigned to her, and does not refuse to endure the pains, or rather the fearful anguish, of parturition, or anxiety about her offspring, or anything else that belongs to her duty, God values this obedience more highly than if, in some other manner, she made a great display of heroic virtues, while she refused to obey the calling of God.
Calvin describes being a submissive wife and mother as a calling of God that triumphs over all others. The “great display of heroic virtues” would doubtless correlate to the modern motif of the girlboss or so-called female leaders, that, regardless of their achievements, being a mother is far superior both in virtue and in obedience to God.
This is the Reformed Tradition that Ligonier Ministries should be advocating, not the talking points of The Gospel Coalition. Lauding mothers over girlbosses is how childrearing becomes higher status in the eyes of women. The Word of God does not return void, but it does require that the Word be taught.
One Response
First Owen Strahan and now Ligonier… is the new evanjellyfish move during pride month… promote singleness?